Moonflower’s Sphere - Agri Sublunares

About writing and trying to get published, about books and fan fiction

And the Cat said…

(I know this is old, but it’s so funny, I can’t help post it again.)

1. Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer.

2. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

3. Thou shalt not project hairballs from the top of the refrigerator.

4. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television as if thou art invisible.

5. Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human’s bladder at 3 a.m.

6. Thou shalt not reset thy human’s alarm clock by walking on it.

7. Thou shalt not trip thy humans, even if they are walking too slowly.

8. Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

9. Thou shalt not jump on the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

10. Thou shalt attempt to show remorse when being scolded.

I’m in love - again

I’m in love - again. This time it’s not my iPod Shuffle (but I still love that). It’s a dog. This weekend I went to a dog show. Just like the last time it was cloudy and at some point during the day it rained, but this time I also got to see the dog breed I’d been wanting to see in real life since I was a child. The Bolognese.

Carl Larsson, bolognese puppy

Carl Larsson, bolognese puppy

We caught sight of a little white dog and I had a feeling I’d come to the right people. Just in case, I asked and I was right. I had met my first Bolognese. It was a nine-month-old male puppy. He was adorable, and what was more, he seemed to return my feelings. The girl who was holding him pushed him into my arms saying it was a good idea for him to learn to accept being touched by other people. And there I was, in love again. He kissed me and showed me in every way that he liked me a lot, as only very young creatures can. This doesn’t mean I love lhasa apsos any less, that wouldn’t be possible. I just have another love in my life.

I’m furious!

Here’s a list:

My dvd rental club (partially my own fault, but if they weren’t my only chance of seeing any movies other than the top 5, I’d cancel my membership in a second)
Our ISP (email STILL not working!)
The neighbors (don’t get me started)
Various other parties, that shall remain anonymous. Can’t be too careful these days.

Wallander

Since the (originally) Swedish Wallander mysteries have been successfully exported to the UK, I thought I’d put in my two cents’ on this topic. In an earlier post, I’ve already mentioned that they’re not quite my thing. What I would like to discuss is something else. In the UK reviewers are raving about Kenneth Branagh in Wallander. I haven’t seen the UK version yet, but I will, just to see what they’ve made of it. As far as I’m concerned, things can only get better.

What I’m reacting to is just one thing that keeps being repeated over and over again, in the reviews, in the UK and even in the US. Sweden is gloomy. What? Ok, I’ll admit that the north, far away from Wallander’s Scania, could be described as gloomy, especially during the dark season, which, frankly, lasts almost all the year around. That’s the north, not Scania. If you went to Scania presumably you’d notice that much of Sweden is pretty ordinary. The scenery is beautiful. (I just had to mention that. After all, I live here. I like the scenery.) But let’s get this straight once and for all, Scanians are not gloomy. Not generally. Sure, anyone can get gloomy, especially if you work hard all day tracing killers and dealing with gruesome murders. Are the British sleuths any more cheerful?

This is how the rest of us Swedes (or Goths, as I am - and no, I’m not dressed in black, we’re called goths anyway and there’s a fascinating linguistic or semantic explanation to why there are so many goths worldwide, especially throughout history) view Scania and the Scanians:

They’re jolly, positive people. They love to eat and drink. Kind of, if you allow the metaphor or simile, like hobbits, though not as short and fat, well some might be, but then so can anyone. Scania is usually green and smiling, rather than gloomy, though personally I tend to agree that the area around Ystad might be described as gloomy, especially during the winter.

Sh. Don’t look now!

Stalker cat

Stalker cat

Stalker cat

Stalker cat

Stalker cat

Stalker cat

I think I have a stalker.:) My sister and I were walking back from the store. We’d bought a few things, among others, cat food, and it seems this little cutie knew that from a distance. She (I think it was a she, though she was quite big, but definitely young), saw us, ran through a hole in the fence, and came to say hello. Once the ice was broken, she sniffed the shopping bag, and began to tag along. We were quite concerned that something would happen to her. She crossed streets and just followed us. Two other people walked by and wanted to say hello, but she only had eyes for us. Me really. When she noticed that we had noticed, she began to get coy. She wasn’t following us. No way. She was just checking things out. Removing a thorn that had become stuck in her paw. Climbing a tree. Finally, when we got to the cemetary, she really stopped and turned back. It was a relief. We didn’t want her to get hurt. But I have a feeling that she’ll come and say hello again, the next time we pass by.

Letter to my 16-year-old self

Thanks to Stephen Fry for this idea.

I hate to say this, C, but you’re going to wish you were fat again, just so you could be young. Sorry. Also, try to have a bit more fun, because that’s all you’re going to get. See if you can get D to dump his silly teenage girlfriend and become involved with you. That was probably your best chance to get a cute boyfriend of a reasonable age at that time. Work a little harder at getting a good education, because, frankly, you screwed up there, big time, despite the good grades. You should also begin to work on your writing a lot earlier. Imagine where you’d be today, if you’d been serious about it sooner.

Unreal

When I was out taking a walk yesterday, I saw a girl with something covering her mouth. Sure, the swine flu might soon be here, even in this little backwater town, but still - It feels as if I’ve ended up inside some disaster movie, or in someone’s worst dream. Of course, I could be wrong, but I don’t think we need to worry that much. Just someone’s mother overreacting. Who wouldn’t be overprotective of their child? I tend to be very cautious about everything myself, but this - no, not yet. I hope I won’t be proven wrong.

The brown puppy

Today when we went to the store to do some shopping - it’s a holiday today, so among other things we had to get something nice for this evening - we saw a cute field spaniel puppy. He was brown and playful and had this really endearing way of looking at you. Of course, just like all spaniels he was wagging his tail. Unfortunately, his owner was extremely strict with him. She couldn’t seem to tolerate any expression of joy. Why get such a sweet breed, if you intend to crush his zest for life? It made me sad. Poor puppy, all he wanted was to have some fun.

Swedish mysteries

Right now, Europe is discovering Swedish crime novels. I just read an article on the Guardian’s website which mentioned, among others, Stieg Larsson, Liza Marklund and Camilla Läckberg. The UK has already taken Henning Mankell’s Wallander mysteries to their heart.

It seems almost petty to mention that they’ve just scratched the surface. In all honesty, I haven’t read Stieg Larsson or Liza Marklund. I have however read Mankell, Nesser and Läckberg and I must say I wasn’t impressed. For instance, take the latter - when you write a ‘mystery’ that is so predictable that someone like me - a writer wannabe, but still just an amateur - knows exactly who is the killer, why he did it and how it all happened when I’m reading the first couple of lines of the second chapter - what does that tell you about the quality of the book?

Forget all of the above writers (the Whiskas people books - Whiskas people are those who go for the most popular of anything, in case you’re wondering). I’ll tell you about my favorites instead. Since we’re talking about Swedish mystery writers, I won’t go into my Finnish favorite, at least not here, or the British, American or French books I like. So, here goes…

Emma Vall. She’s really three persons using the same pen name. They’re reporters, and so is their main character Amanda Rönn. She investigates crimes in the northern town Sundsvall. Emma Vall also writes mysteries for kids, about a girl named Svala (she’s originally from Iceland, hence the unusual name). The mysteries for kids are as well written as the others. My only problem with the kids’ books, is that they’re a little predictable. The basis is as follows: Svala makes a few new friends (or reconnects with some old friends) who have a problem. She starts to investigate to help them. That’s it. Don’t let that stop you from reading them, if you like books for older kids. They’re still good, even if the writers might want to vary the ‘recipe’ a little. If I have to criticize anything about the ‘grownup’ mysteries, it’s the fact that while Amanda Rönn is relatively young - just over 30 - she prefers men who are around 60. I think that’s because one of the writers is about that age herself and creates love interests of her own age. All their books are well written and definitely worth reading.

Arne Dahl. Pen name for a man named Jan Arnald. In addition to writing mysteries he’s also a short story writer, editor and critic. His mysteries are about a fictitious group investigating serious crime - the A group. The group employs quite a few people, so chances are you’ll find a main character you’ll like. For instance out of the roughly ten people involved, I primarily like two of them, both male, but there’s no one I absolutely can’t stand. These books are well written and fascinating, but once in a while, Arne Dahl tends to get a little too fanciful (I noticed this in Hidden Numbers (Mörkertal).

Thomas Kanger. He’s a reporter too, just like the women behind Emma Vall. His main character is young cop Elina Wiik who works in Västerås in eastern Sweden. Just like most cops, she’s single and trying to find time to date in the midst of her busy professional life. I used to like these books and I still like most of them. However, in The Borderland (Gränslandet) he just gets too fanciful for my taste. There’s absolutely no logic in the ending. It stops being a mystery and turns into speculative fiction and that just isn’t appropriate, without any warning. The earlier books are still fine, but I won’t recommend The Borderland.

Åsa Nilsonne. She’s actually a psychiatrist and medical doctor, but also writes excellent mysteries about the cop Monika Pedersen, working in Stockholm. Monika Pedersen is single (is there any cop who isn’t either single or divorced?), but has a close male friend, who is gay. Most of the cases are investigated in central Stockholm, but in the last book Monika goes to Ethiopia to follow up on a lead.

New community!

Today, my sister and I created a new microcommunity. It’s a sort of personal Twitter. The members post short status update messages, just like on Twitter, but this is a community - in this case one especially about veganism, animal rights and similar issues.

You’re welcome to come in and take a look:

Tabernus - The Green Cafe