|Primary Characters:||Captain Julian Bashir (Terok Nor)|
|Warning:||m/m sex, violence, some language|
|Description:||Captain Julian Bashir has experienced a painful personal tragedy. He’s trying to drown out the pain by doing some gambling. The opponent he’s playing against turns out to be someone quite unexpected. Julian learns that losing isn’t always such a bad thing.|
Captain Julian Bashir was furious. Why did his lovely Jadzia have to die? It had been weeks, but he still felt the same dull pain. The strain of not showing his troops his true feelings was wearing him down. But it wouldn’t do to show weakness. That was a big mistake. Next thing you knew, someone was questioning your authority, and before long you had a challenge on your hands.
He had good reason to know. Some of his commands had come his way exactly like that. Your predecessor got injured or simply lost it, and you saw your chance. If you won the fight, the command was yours. But the space lanes were littered with the cadavers of the losers.
When he got back to base after a few months of hard campaigning, one of his spies came to see him. This piece of news might really be worth the exorbitant rates the little toad charged for his information. Those Bajorans weren’t good for anything except in bed, and even then most of them didn’t live up to Julian’s expectations. But the news of the new Dax returning was interesting. Though Julian wasn’t sure he wanted to see the successor of his darling.
Still, it always paid to keep yourself well informed. You never knew when it might come in handy. So that’s how he came to be walking over to the bar late the same night. He was hoping he would find the person he was looking for there. Maybe at the Dabbo tables. Or in the holosuites. Either one of those places would suit Julian fine even if he scored zero.
He sat down at his usual table, a little out of the way, where no one coming in would spot him unless they were looking for him. And then Julian would see them first. Always cover your back. That was something you learned almost before you could walk. If you didn’t, you could be sure no one else would either. Not even your mother. What mother would wish to raise a helpless little loser?
Julian kept watch over the Dabbo tables, the bar counter and the door to the holosuites. Who could it be? He was distracted by the sight of the handsome young man who was apparently hitting a winning streak over at the Dabbo tables. That guy sure seemed to be about to break the bank. Maybe later Julian would challenge him to a game or two. It might be interesting, and it could even be worth his while.
His informant had been vague about the details of this new Dax. Now that Julian thought back, all he had really learned was that Dax had arrived just days earlier, and seemed to be very young for a joined Trill. Didn’t seem to be older than early twenties. What would she look like? There was no way she would be as desirable as his Jadzia. No one could.
Julian broke off that fruitless, sentimental thought. Never look back, never reminisce. That way you didn’t open yourself up for more pain. Life had enough of those little surprises for you anyway. What was a lover anyway? Just someone who shared your bed for a while, until someone better came along. Julian was beginning to lose patience with this waiting, with himself and those useless thoughts. He got up and walked over to the Dabbo table.
The young man looked up and smiled dazzlingly at him. Julian immediately looked around suspiciously. What was the guy so happy about? Was there at this moment a weapon pointing at his back? An assassination attempt? But nothing seemed to be wrong. Julian allowed himself to relax a little. If there was one thing he loved it was a good game of some kind. There were of course other games with even higher stakes that amused him more. But this would do for the time being.
He bought a few counters and started playing idly at first, so as not to let his opponent suspect anything. A few times he lost, then he won some games. The handsome new guy flashed him a smile again. So he liked this kind of game, did he? Whoever he was, he seemed to be a worthy opponent. Julian was beginning to hope they could play some other game, with higher stakes. This kind of game was for elderly tourists and adolescents.
So he walked away from the table with his winnings. Had the other guy taken the bait? Julian didn’t ruin the game by looking over his shoulder. He just cashed in his counters and sat down as if comtemplating his next move. Then he caught the attention of the barkeeper and asked to be allowed into one of the back rooms. Now he could see the new player following his moves from a table some distance away. Would he follow? Yes, now he too called for the barkeeper and so they were ushered into the back room for the more serious players.
This was R&R for a man. Not those wimpy games for the more ordinary people. He could tell that his opponent enjoyed this kind of game as much as he did. From time to time Julian found himself stealing a look into the young man’s eyes. There was something familiar about him. Had they played together before somewhere? But surely he would remember this arrogant young man if their paths had crossed before?
At the end of the evening, Julian found that he had lost more than the other man, and that rankled him somewhat. If there was one thing Julian didn’t like, it was losing. He thought of another game he could challenge his opponent to. Nothing interesting sprang to mind, and now the young man turned to Julian and it seemed he wanted to talk. Fine, Julian would talk to him, but the thrill of the game was already fading and he was beginning to lose interest.
As the young man moved closer, Julian realized with a start something he hadn’t previously noticed. He was a Trill. It had to be a young unjoined Trill since he didn’t seem to be more than 21 or 22 at most. From what Jadzia had told him, Trills were usually at least 25 before they were chosen to be joined.
“Hello, Julian. You still don’t enjoy losing much, do you?”
“Have we met? I don’t believe we have.”
“Oh, we have done a great deal more than just met, Julian. Don’t you recognize me? Oh, well, let me introduce myself. I’m Razlore, but you can call me Raz. Razlore Dax, at your service.”
Julian felt as if he’d been hit by a phaser at full stun, something that had happened on more than one occasion. It was just as well that he was sitting down.
He had heard that the hosts were usually not the of the same sex twice running, but he hadn’t paid much attention. Somehow it was unthinkable that his Dax would now be male.
Instantly he took a dislike to this young impostor. What business had he with the Dax symbiont anyway? It seemed Raz sensed his reaction and far from being offended, he was enjoying the situation.
“I’m happy to see you too, baby.”
“Go suck some space, will you. I’m through here.”
“Really? And I was so sure you were sitting there looking so thoughtful trying to decide what your next move is. Ok, let me make a suggestion. How about a nice dirty fight in the holosuite? That would give you a chance to get back at me for winning all that money off you. And maybe to work off some that frustration I see you’re trying to hide. You never could hide anything from me, you know.”
“Are you trying to pick a fight with me, boy? If you really are Dax, you should know better than that.”
“No, you should know better than that. Even Jadzia was quite a match for you, and I will beat you into the floor, old man. Come on, are you growing scared in your old age?”
“You must have a death wish, Rat, or whatever your name is.”
“Shall I take that as a yes? I’ll have them get a holosuite ready for us, shall I?”
Julian wanted to kick the table into the wall and teach that kid some manners right then and there, but with an effort he restrained himself. Yes, a proper fight in one of the holosuites might do him good. He hadn’t even killed an enemy in weeks. So the practice would do him good. He would wipe that insolent smile off the boy’s face.
To his surprise, a holosuite was available right away, and they could start immediately. After some moments of discussion, no actually, arguing, about what sort of fight it would be, they finally settled on a no rules free for all fight, just as Julian liked it. There was no way that untrained kid could last more than a few minutes in there. When the fight was over Julian would decide if he would let the kid go on living or not. Or with how serious injuries.
Despite himself, Julian was looking forward to the confrontation. He hadn’t realized how badly he had been shaken by seeing his former lover in the body of a male. It seemed all wrong for Dax to be a man. In Julian’s mind he would always remember her as Jadzia had been the last time they’d had sex. Not long before she died. How he had loved that smile, those eyes, everything about her. The way her hair trailed down into her eyes afterwards. And the pattern on her skin. With an angry growl he forced his mind to leave those thoughts alone. He needed all his concentration for the fight.
Without giving the boy any chance to prepare, he rushed him and rammed him up against the wall. Then he felt the boy’s knee make contact with a sensitive spot and he almost went down. Ignoring the pain, Julian twisted away, rolled aside and was up again, before the boy could make another attempt. Now that he knew Raz’s strength, Julian used a little more caution. They circled each other warily, each trying to spot a weakness, a crack in the other’s guard.
Suddenly they were locked in a different kind of embrace. They were rolling around on the floor, furiously trying to finish the fight before being too injured to savor the victory. Both were bleeding from many shallow cuts and Julian’s side hurt as he was drawing breath. But Raz’s leg trailed behind him when he was trying to get up, so his strength was ebbing too. Their faces were so close they could have kissed each other, but that was the furthest thing from their minds at that moment.
Now most of the fire had gone out of them, and Julian was thinking it might not be such a bad thing to call it a night. They could always meet again the next day and continue the fight. Against his will he was forming an almost favorable opinion of Dax’s new host. And his eyes really were so much like Jadzia’s. There was no sound but their ragged breaths painfully tearing in and out of there lungs. It wouldn’t be much longer now.
Then Julian knew he had lost the fight. Not because he was injured but because something totally unexpected had happened. He knew Raz could feel it too. They were lying so close together there was no way he could miss it. And there it was. Raz’s body was reacting in the same way. Julian had never felt such a powerful attraction for anyone before. Just as much as he had wanted to kill Raz before, he now wanted to kiss him. Cover that arrogant, beautiful young face with kisses, shove his tongue far down his throat. Julian wanted to possess this body as he had the last Dax host’s.
How did Raz feel about it? He didn’t have to wait long for the answer. The young man went limp underneath him and instead moved his face even closer. Their lips met and Julian could finally experience what he now realized he had been wanting all along. Ever since he had caught sight of that hot, firm, young body at the Dabbo table. He couldn’t get enough of Raz.
Julian had never liked too much softness and he certainly didn’t treat that young body gently, but all he heard were sounds of pleasure. Raz seemed to enjoy being on the receiving end of that brutal treatment. Good. He might as well get used to it. Julian tore the clothes off him, and began to explore his body in earnest. It was the first time he had ever experienced such intimacy with a man.
The only thing that came close was killing a man after a long hand-to-hand combat. There was an intimacy in that that had always excited him. Now he could get even closer. All the way. His greedy mouth closed on Raz’s neck, shoulders, chest. Why had he never tried this before? It was even better than with women. No softness, just firm, hot, smooth flesh. On Raz’s skin bruises sprang up in Julian’s wake, but that only excited him more. Raz seemed to enjoy it too judging by his reaction. At some point Julian must have shed his garments too. All that mattered was the way his skin felt against Raz’s.
When it was over Julian was surprised to feel no shame. To hell with anyone who had any objections. If anyone dared to voice such criticisms to his face that person would learn what it meant to cross Captain Julian Bashir. They must have moved to Julian’s room at some point, because that’s where they woke up. He felt Raz move beside him, and he knew his lover was awake. Their glances met, and both smiled lazily, fully satisfied and yet ready for more. Julian reached out and grabbed Raz’s hair and pulled him closer still. Hours later they awoke again, this time physically spent, but their minds alert. Small talk wasn’t Julian’s idea of fun, but suddenly he wanted to know so much about Raz. But it was Raz who spoke first.
“You’re just as I remembered you. Only better. You must have been holding back while you were with Jadzia. Even though I’d never been with a man before, I knew the moment I saw you that this would happen.”
“You mean that Raz has never been with a man.”
“Yes. What did you think? Before I was joined I was always into women. Older women.”
“I’ll bet you were. So was I. I mean women anyway. All kinds and shapes and races and ages.”
“You don’t need to tell me, Julian. I know all about that.”
“Of course you do. I hope you realize that now you belong to me exclusively. No more women for you, and definitely no other men. You’re mine, do you understand me?”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Julian, darling. You can do anything you want to me, if you ever see me as much as looking at anyone else.”
“Good, because I would, make no mistake about that. That pretty face of yours wouldn’t look so pretty anymore, and as for your body…”
Julian let his fingers trace the face and body of his lover as he spoke those words. He could feel a shiver of anticipation go through Raz at the mention of that threat. This, finally, was the lover he had been waiting for all his life. Someone who could keep up and love every second of it.
“I always wondered what it would be like to be with someone like you – someone like me. Yes, I was treating my women exactly as you are treating me. Some of them liked it, but many didn’t. To hell with them. There were plenty more where they came from.”
“Well, now you know.”
“Yes, darling. Is there anything you’d like me to do for you, right now?”
Julian took a moment to consider. No, as for now he was completely satisfied. There was nothing he needed at this particular moment. So he generously told Raz he could replicate himself some new clothes and go about his business for the time being. As long as he didn’t go far, and most importantly didn’t see anyone else.
Jadzia was already fading in his memories. He had great plans for himself and Raz. The entire quadrant awaited them. Things he had never thought about with Jadzia sprang into his mind. With a lover like Raz at his side, there was nothing he couldn’t do. He gave Raz one last hard kiss on the mouth, then allowed his lover to disappear into the sonic shower.